The post was reviewed by Naghmeh Abedini. This blog post was written by Julie Anne Smith, with contributions by Brad Sargent. If abusers refuse to work through individual counseling on their personal issues, that creates a stumbling block to relational reconciliation. ( *** EDIT: The monolog in the cartoon is not a quote from Naghmeh, but a compilation of things she has said or would say.) UPDATE: CT has made the interview available to subscribers only.Experts on the dynamics of abuse strongly recommend separate, individual counseling for abuser and victim, not couples counseling. So I'm going to click "post" because what do I have to lose? And what might survivors have to gain?We'll see. So why do we do this? In hopes that the church will change? That would be awesome. I want to be clear: my concern is not only for victims themselves, but how the church responds to them and their stories. It's already cost her so much.Threats are still thrown her way. She might be afraid by now to say anything even if asked. Don't stop talking!" But I don't think anyone's asked her. I said, "Keep telling your side of the story. She's on her own against a huge institution with famous leaders, money, and lawyers stacked against her. She would be painted a liar, a disgruntled spouse, a complaining whiney woman, a bad Christian wife, a woman with questionable morals, a neglectfulmother, an indiscreet woman who should've kept her marital problems private, demonized as aJezebelunderminingthe gospel. I predicted to her exactly what would happen, and it has. When Naghmeh and I started talking months ago I felt sad and concerned for her because I knew how this was going to go down. The exact opposite of the gospel's message! Like Naghmeh! The church prefers success stories rather than dealing with basic and fundamental issues like the rights and safety of its members, especially women and other marginalized people. Especially women and the church, and women survivors. Nothing brings more sufferingthan providing a spacefor women to tell their stories.īut this isn't about me. The other day Lisa told me that what gets me in more trouble than anything else, including LGBT issues or my more in-your-face cartoons, is advocating for women. people who obviously wish to align themselves more with the church, authority, leaders, and success stories, ratherthan victims.The destructiveaftershocks ofthat post are still felt to this day by many people. It still is! I and other advocates lost a lot of friends and important connections. The price paid for writing that post plusnot taking it down was dear. Like with Julie and Naghmeh and other women survivors, the church and its leaderswant us to agree thatit's a private marital problem rather than an individual'sabusiveness. Almost every single Christian leader withheld support, remained silent, or chastised the victim and her advocates. I was naive tothink people that would believe a victim and that the church would rally to her support! But no. Little did I know the pain it caused me and other advocates as well assurvivors. It began in earnest in October of 2014 with my most popular post ever, Tony Jones on Mark Driscoll: What Came First, the Thug or the Theology?All I did in that postwas to allow a woman, Julie McMahon, to share her version of events. I want to get personal for a second because this has some bearing on what my argument. The church in this case, led by Franklin Graham, wants her silenced so that its story with Saeed at the center will prevail. CT should be embarrassed that it published such obvious propaganda filled with Saeed's pompous self-adulation, outrageous claims, and hollowdenials. The interview, for those who have eyes to see, is such a compromised piece of work that it simply can't stand with any integrity.
Even in the interview he clumsily reveals Franklin Graham told him to be quiet about the abuse allegations. I also believe he's being instructed to lieandto withhold the truth. My primary concern as her friend is for the safety and happiness of Naghmeh.īut my other concern is the response of the church to her claims that Saeed was abusive to her. The other day, Christianity Today posted an outrageous interview with Saeed Abedini concerning his ministry, his marriage, and the allegations of abuse against him made by his wife, Naghmeh. "Women Survivors and the Church" cartoon by nakedpastor David Hayward
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